Introduction

It was a fateful day, that crisp April morning. Every college student looks forward to his 21st birthday, knowing that he can go out, drink, and make a fool of himself, and no one cares. After all, if you can’t forgive the birthday boy then you are a cruel hearted person indeed. Dan had made plans, Mexican food with his family and friends, and afterwards, an evening of barhopping. Even better, it was a Friday night, so the bars were guaranteed to be crowded. You never know what will happen in a crowded bar…

Classes dragged, and finally 6:30 came around. The Mexican restaurant was packed, full of college students eating a margarita filled dinner before they drank themselves into oblivion. Still, Dan thought, it was a nice dinner, his mom had a margarita, and got tipsy, his dad laughed, and enjoyed meeting his friends. All was well. His girlfriend’s classmates all came, and he laughed with them, while keeping an eye on the tall one. Who knew, tonight might just be the night to start the fateful bromance he had been waiting for.

The friends left dinner for the bars, planning on which one to go to first. Jake’s is close, they decided, why not go there. Jake’s was where this tale really begins. As everyone crowded around the bar to order their drinks, Dan squeezed close to Alexander in the crowded bar. He was already several drinks in from dinner, and felt he might as well go for it. He ordered a shot, and then asked to try Alexander’s drink. Pretending to like it, he ordered one for himself.

The bar was too crowded to find a table, so instead the group stood in a circle. “Perfect,” thought Dan’s now rather drunk brain. “I can hand my girlfriend my drink, and fondle Alexander.” He immediately reached for his nipples, giving them a playful twist. Alexander stared at him, a look of confusion on his face. “What, I thought we were bros” declared Dan.

“Bros, right. Dude, you know your girlfriend is standing right next to you.”

“Yes, but I can’t go fondling her in public, now can I? That isn't seen as acceptable,” as he goes back for more of Alexander’s nipples.

Alexander sighs, knowing he is now the bro-bitch in the relationship he hadn't asked for.



Welcome to A College Bromance, a satire blog detailing the blossoming relationship between several college friends and their broscapades. I'll be attempting to update weekly.